You're at the mall with your father, who has Alzheimer's. One moment he's standing placidly next to you. The next moment, he's gone. Where is he? You immediately start whipping yourself. You're a failure as a caregiver. That thought sends you into an emotional tailspin. Your failure as a caregiver proves that you're a worthless person. What's wrong with you anyway?

When Alzheimer's caregiving has you at wit's end, a support group can help you gain perspective and a sense of connection. For anyone involved in Alzheimer's caregiving, a support group is a necessity. Alzheimer's support groups turn caregiving an experience that leaves most people feeling frustrated, depressed, and isolated into the sole criterion for membership.

If you'd rather not "exercise," don't. Just put a little more oomph behind the things you do anyway every day. Most of them you can do with your loved one:

Physical activity has many well-documented health benefits. Among them, exercise helps you help your loved one with Alzheimer's disease more confidently, effectively, and energetically. "Oh sure," you say, "but how can I exercise? I'm run ragged providing Alzheimer's care."

Physicians, counselors, and social workers who work with Alzheimer's caregivers are unanimous in the opinion that caregivers must arrange time off for themselves at regular intervals, preferably frequently. But some caregivers feel that spending time away from the affected loved one is "selfish." On the contrary. If you want to provide quality care, time off, or respite, is an absolute necessity.

Taking care of a loved one with Alzheimer's disease is very stressful. Caregivers react to their stress individually. What follows is a list of possible reactions. If you answer "yes" to any of these questions, you're suffering caregiver distress. The more "yes" answers, the closer you are to burning out. Take some time to consider how you might take better care of yourself.

It isn't easy to bring a loved one with Alzheimer's disease into your home. Do not do it impulsively. Those who cope most successfully plan the transition carefully and take a good deal of time several months to adjust to the idea and to allow everyone else in the household and extended family to adjust as well.