For the vast majority of Alzheimer's caregivers, there comes a time when they can no longer care for the affected individual. They simply do not have the skill, energy, and support to provide round-the-clock supervision and daily activities tailored to the person's increasing needs and remaining abilities. That's the time to take the final step in Alzheimer's care  -- moving the person into a nursing home.

It's bad enough that people with Alzheimer's disease lose the ability to take care of themselves. But what drives most caregivers crazy is that they combine fading cognitive abilities with irritability, anger, stubbornness, and obnoxiousness. Always remember: Behavior problems are part of the disease. They are not malicious. The affected individual has no control over them and is not responsible for them.

Compared with those who have never raised children, those who have done so enjoy an advantage in Alzheimer's care. They have lived with toddlers. That's what people with Alzheimer's disease are most like -- 2-year-olds. Of course, they're bigger, heavier, stronger, and they look like adults. But during the mild and moderate stages of the disease when loved ones usually do the caregiving, they often act like toddlers.

With toddlers, the term is "childproofing." With those afflicted with Alzheimer's disease, there is no similar term, but the concept is the same. Many things around a home that pose no danger to people in full possession of their mental faculties can be major hazards for people with Alzheimer's. It's impossible to make any home absolutely safe for a person with Alzheimer's.

Those who develop Alzheimer's disease almost always begin their journey into dementia living competently as independent adults. They don't give their competence or independence much thought -- it's easy to take for granted. Competence and independence are fundamental to people's concepts of self. How do you feel when someone questions your competence at any task?